The Role of the Mother

Dear Mom, being a mother is a very important role that the Lord chooses to give to many women. God calls you to love your children (Titus 2:4–5), in part so that you do not bring reproach on the Lord and on the Savior whose name you bear: “so that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, so that God’s word will not be discredited” (Titus 2:4–5, MSB).

​

Children Are a Gift from the Lord

Mom, God tells us that children are a gift from the Lord: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3–5, MSB). In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children: “so that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children” (Titus 2:4, MSB). This word represents a special kind of “love,” carrying the idea of caring for us, nurturing us, affectionately embracing us, meeting our needs, and tenderly befriending each one of us as a unique gift from the hand of God.

​

Biblical Expectations of Christian Mothers

Availability

Mom, God calls you to be available to us morning, noon, and night, as Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

​

Involvement

Mom, God also calls you to be involved in our lives—not distant, but present and engaged. Ephesians 6:4 says: “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” which supports a home of interaction, instruction, discussion, and daily shepherding.

​

Teaching

Mom, God calls you to teach us His Word and a biblical worldview. Psalm 78:5–6 says, “For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children,” and Deuteronomy 4:10 says, “Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.”

​

Training

Mom, God calls you to train us. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” And God also calls you to help us recognize and grow in spiritual gifts, as Romans 12:3–8 teaches that each believer is to think soberly “according as God has apportioned to each a measure of faith,” and that we have “gifts that differ according to the grace given to us.”

​

Discipline

Mom, God calls you to discipline us consistently and lovingly. Ephesians 6:4 says to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” and Hebrews 12:5–11 teaches, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord… for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines,” and that discipline later yields “the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” Proverbs also teaches discipline clearly and repeatedly: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24); “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death” (Proverbs 19:18); “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15); “Do not withhold discipline from a child… you shall strike him with the rod and deliver his soul from Sheol” (Proverbs 23:13–14); and “The rod and reproof give wisdom… Discipline your son and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your soul” (Proverbs 29:15–17).

​

Nurture

Mom, God calls you not only to discipline, but also to nurture us in love and encouragement. Titus 2:4 calls women “to love their husbands, to love their children,” and 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” Ephesians 4:29–32 teaches, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for building up… be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 5:1–2 says, “Be imitators of God… and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you.” Galatians 5:22 teaches that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control,” and 1 Peter 3:8–9 says, “All of you be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender-hearted, humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.”

​

Modelling with Integrity

Mom, God calls you to model integrity in daily life so we can learn what godly living looks like. Deuteronomy 4:9 warns, “Only be on your guard and diligently keep your soul, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen… but make them known to your sons and your grandsons,” and Deuteronomy 4:15 says, “So keep your souls diligently,” and Deuteronomy 4:23 says, “Be careful… so that you do not forget the covenant of the LORD your God.” Proverbs 10:9 says, “He who walks in integrity walks securely,” Proverbs 11:3 says, “The integrity of the upright will guide them,” and Psalm 37:18 and 37 says, “The LORD knows the days of the blameless… Mark the blameless man and behold the upright, for the man of peace will have a future.”

​

A Sacred Responsibility (Not Given to All Women)

Mom, the Bible never states that God is calling every woman to have children. However, it does say that those whom the Lord blesses to be mothers should take the responsibility seriously. You have a unique and crucial role in our lives. Motherhood is not a chore or an unpleasant task. Just as you bore a child during pregnancy, and just as you fed and cared for a child during infancy, you also play an ongoing role in our lives whether we are adolescents, teenagers, young adults, or even adults with children of our own. While your role as a mother will change and develop, the love, care, nurture, and encouragement you give should never cease.

​

Each Child Is Uniquely Created by God

Mom, we should also remember that every child is uniquely created by God. Therefore, you should not attempt to mold us into personal ambitions or expectations, but instead lovingly guide and train each child according to God’s design and calling for their life.

​

Jesus at Twelve: A Perfect Example

Mom, a perfect example of this is Jesus in the temple at twelve years old. At first, His actions did not make sense to Joseph and Mary, and they did not understand what God was doing (Luke 2:48–50).  However, Mary “kept all these things in her heart,” and as time went on they came to understand that the Father’s will was the true priority (Luke 2:51), and they learned to focus not on their own expectations, but on God’s plan.